Growth Mindset: Share the Growth Mindset Concept with Someone

One of my best friends and I had conversation about his recent heartbreaking break-up experience. My friend and his girlfriend have been dating for over five years since their sophomore year in high school, well into their college years. My friend didn't know or hear about the idea of growth mindset. Nonetheless, the conversation between him and me became a growth mindset conversation.

My friend and his girlfriend broke up with each other because they were expecting each other to fulfill their needs. The needs were primarily emotional needs. I could sense that they were emotionally dependent on each other. I don't think it's particularly bad to be emotionally dependent when two people are dating, but I think that often leads to disappointments. Being a five-year-old couple, they obviously had expectations on each other. 

He wanted to re-connect with her and become couple again. I told him that he either had to drop all of his expectations or lower them to the lowest standards as possible. I also told him that even married couples can't last long if they expect too much from the other person. I also talked to him about working out the differences.  I used fond for pets as an example. One person might like dogs and want to have a pet. But it's totally possible that the other person dislikes animals and doesn't want to have any pet. If the differences can't be negotiated, finding the new solution that can work for both becomes important. I told him that buying a robotic dog that can bark and even say sweet words to humans is a good solution (which live dogs can never do). 

That was my final growth mindset concept, which was about how creative, innovative ideas can work out the differences and save us from making either-or decisions. The robotic dogs do not make feces, are controllable, and don't require rigorous training, which saves the owner's time. 

Robotic dog. Source: Boston Dynamic's robotic dog